I was so uninspired by this movie I took a 3 month hiatus. It’s that Jim Belushi, you guys. He really breaks down a person’s will to blog. Let’s get into this.
Title: Red Heat
Arnold’s Character: Ivan Danko, square-jawed and serious Russian cop. Pretty one-note character, pretty one-note performance. He looks great, though.
Plot synopsis: Needlessly complicated, featuring an extraneous Gina Gershon. Drug dealer in Russia kills Danko’s partner and flees to America. Danko follows to apprehend him and has to team up with “loose cannon” Art Ridzik (Belushi) in Chicago. There is a bunch of boring cat and mouse that I don’t feel like summarizing, bad guy is caught, escapes, gets shot to death on some train tracks. The end!
- features a young Laurence Fishburne, who also looks great
- the movie opens with a bizarre scene in a Russian bathhouse that culminates in Arnold beating up the obligatory Sven-Ole Thorsem in the snow. Nearly nude.
- The first words Jim Belushi utters in the movie are “funbag patrol” which is so thoroughly gross I don’t even want to discuss that sloppy charisma-vaccuum
- it’s kind of fun to hear Russian spoken with an Austrian accent
- this movie has three good scenes: the opening spa fight, a scene in a bar that you’ll see further down and a bus chase at the end where you see an actual train hit an actual bus. Very satisfying.
Best moment: Fake leg fakeout! Just watch:
As you may have surmised, I didn’t much care for this movie. Boring, Belushi, slightly racist throughout. There’s better movies behind us and better movies ahead. To that end: